Being a super secret agent spy has always been the dream of every male between the ages of 5 to 90. We’ve all fantasized about being at home some day and randomly receiving a call from the CIA saying they’ve been watching me and they want to turn me into an international spy that will change the world. We all know that the chances of that happening are slim to none, but dreaming is not a bad thing.
Now, if you do want to play out your fantasy at being a spy, here are a couple of cool gadgets that will give you the ability to play out that special dream of yours. Best of all, the gadgets that I included on this article are very easy to get your hands on. You wont have to pass through some extensive clearance test, more than likely, the only “clearance” that you will need to get your hands on one of these will come from your wife. They are also fairly cheap, and buying some flowers will guarantee that she won’t be to pissed at you. Lastly, they work, they may not be professional grade products, but they actually work. If you don’t know what the difference between consumer grade, professional grade, and law enforcement grade product’s are, check out this article talking about the differences between all three of the products.
Perhaps one of the most important things any successful spy needs to have when they get that illusive call from the CIA; is an ability to get video evidence of their target. I’m not talking about having a video camera the size of the world either, you need to have a super secret spy camera that has a multi-purpose. If you don’t have one of these cameras in your arsenal, then you have no business in the spy field. I think they have brooms and shovels for people like you 😉 . Fortunately, thinkGeek.com came to rescue with the SpyNet Night Vision Video Watch.
This bad boy has a couple of Amazing things. Perhaps the best thing it packs, is the ability to disguise it self as a toy… but believe me… it is not! This “watch” (if you can call it that) has a sound recorder, video recorder, NIGHT vision video recording, still picture cam (with time lapse) Aside from that, it comes pre-installed with spy missions to get you started right away, it comes with a few games to keep you entertained, and apps to assist you in your spy mission. And get this: it tells time, too! And, if you really need to go covert, snag the Snake Cam Add-On. This little beauty plugs into the watch and lets you look around corners (or hide it in your sleeve and have it peek out a button whole.
Okay, we all know that in order to get to your “target” you need to be able to see your target without being seen first. The watch listed above is great to get video, but the small LCD display has one downfall, the screen is bright, meaning that if you can see your target using the night vision, then your target can see your screen. For that, ThinkGeek comes to the rescue again with the SpyNet Night Vision Binoculars.
Lets be honest here, if you get recruited by the CIA your mission may be walking around in the middle of a warehouse with all the lights turned off. (thanks to the CIA shutting down the warehouse’s electricity) And you have two options, one is to wait until your eyes get adjusted to the dark levels for you to be walking around safely, or for you to get on your night vision goggles on!
You might think these things are just toys, the type that say “night vision” but really just have a pop out flashlight. Nope. These are the real deal; true infrared night vision, for the price of a toy. Now you will be able to sneak around like the secret spy the CIA is hiring you to be, in the dark. Best of all, they wont be able to see you. Unless they too have secret spy night vision glasses. In that case you may be in a bit of trouble if you don’t have your armor ready!
Secret Armor Device!
Alright, sometimes your job as a secret spy may be to work at an office that is behind enemy lines. The office work can be mundane but when S*** Hits The Fan, you better be prepared for what’s going to happen next. You probably will have people shooting at you from all different directions and hiding behind a desk is not going to stop that bullet. You will need to carry around something that fits in the office environment, yet it can double as a shield.
For that, we introduce you to the bulletproof clipboard… if Batman had a clipboard, this would be it. This clipboard offers Level II body armor, with a clip attached to hold the paper. Level II body armor is tough enough to stop the penetration of 9mm bullets and all those stopped by Level I and Level IIA. The Bulletproof Body Armor Clipboard is the toughest clipboard for the price of less than $50. Sure, it’s heavy, but when you own a clipboard that can stop bullets, weight doesn’t matter anymore. Considering the type of work you will be doing for the agency, this clipboard may become your very best friend.
Secret Storage Compartments!
Okay, so let’s say that your mission is to go into a company and steal some secret data. You’re probably wondering, I could go in and steal the data on a USB drive. Which is true, now days USB drives can be hidden on just about anything. But what if you are stopped on the way out and they find the USB drive? that’s when the above scenario would take place and you better have that clipboard in hand!
But if you want to walk through security without being noticed, then you need to find a better way to hide your stuff. Now days, you can store about as much information from a USB Stick in a Micro SD card. The added advantages is that the card is easy to conceal. The downfall, is that when someone sees a micro SD card, they instantly want to know what’s in the card… this is not good. Thankfully the coins in the left are hollowed out so you can hide this said micro SD cards without being to suspicious! “Halt! what do you have there?” – “uhm it’s about .. two-fitty” – Oh okay carry on then!… you smile as you walk away with national secrets.
Secret Viewing Angle Gadgets!
That’s just a fancy way of saying I can see you but you don’t know that I can see you because I’m not really looking at you! Yup, if you can decipher what that means then you are golden. Some missions may require you follow someone in a public place. Believe it or not, people tend to have this “I can sense someone is watching me” feeling. Specially when they are doing something bad. So what you need is to have a way to watch that person without having to look at them directly.
The rear view mirror glasses are an awesome example for this gadget. I’ve had a pair of these before and they are amazing. As a PI I’ve had to use some different gadgets to make sure I follow someone without being noticed. These glasses never failed me! This is how they work: The Rear View Spy Sunglasses have edges that specially created, so they look normal from the front but allow you to see behind you. It’s as simple as that.
These glasses can also help you find that one person that’s been following you. A quick glance out of the corner of your eye, and you notice the guy with the funny mustache and eyepatch has been following you for a couple of blocks now. And you remember his characteristics as the “Anti-Spy” Spy! Because of your Rear View Spy Sunglasses, you are now in control. And that dude is gonna wake up with one heck of a headache tomorrow once you’re done with him. Super-spy!
Secret Writing Devices!
When you are hired for a company, you may be forced to sign some documents that hold your real identity. Either that, or they may force you to sign a document that has a disclaimer that you are not a spy. If you sign that paper, you may be killed for treason if you really are a spy, but if you don’t sign it, then it means you’re a spy so they kill you right there and then. So you need to have a secret way of doing both without getting caught. We all know the number one rule of being a spy right? NEVER EVER LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE A SPY! With the KGB Disappearing Ink Pen, you’ll never leave a speck of your handwriting ever again – because the ink in this pen will vanish without a trace.
This pen features a special gel ink developed by real KGB scientists during the Cold War (and made in Russia), that disappears completely. Because it is a gel pen, you don’t need to press hard which prevents paper indenting. You’ll notice the ink fading within a matter of minutes – and it will be completely gone within 48 hours. And not just faded – gone! Even UV scanners won’t be able to detect that anything was ever written with the KGB Disappearing Ink Pen. Spies need the best (you need the best), and the KGB Disappearing Ink Pen is the best there is.
Secret Listening Devices!
What if your mission is to record a secret meeting but unfortunately the meeting is inside a room that you don’t have easy access to? In that case, you need to be able to hear what they are saying without actually being inside the room. With the Sonic Super Ear, you can now hear what they are saying without actually having to be right next door or having to put that cup against the wall trick.
What binoculars did for vision, this product does for listening. Produces an adjustable 50 decibel gain on sounds picked up from its multi-element high sensitivity microphone. With only a single AAA battery, this lightweight device produces nice results. You will be able to know exactly what plans the enemy has against your nation!
Environment Changing Tools!
Let’s say that you are in your office, and the media has been trying to catch the secret company spy. Then you finally see your name on TV with a flashing banner that says were about to reveal who the spy is coming up next! At that time you have a couple of options, run away before the commercials get done. Or you can change the TV channel, but if you change the channel, people may suspect that you are the spy. So you have to do it discretely. Thanks to the Micro Spy Remote, you can now change the TV channel and have full control of ANY television in your immediate presence. But then you better hope that no one actually saw who the real spy was. Because if they did… then you better hope that you have a way out. We all know that spies don’t exist to any agency! if they catch you… you are left on your own!
How to Destroy The Snitch!
Perhaps one of the most important things for a spy is having the ability to silence people. Specially people who know you are the spy. Unfortunately, you can’t just randomly get up one day and go silence that one person in the office. So the other way to silence them is by making them appear crazy. Who’s going to believe that one guy who hears voices and sounds right?
Thanks to the annoy-a-tron you can now make anyone go insane. The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time ‘timing’ the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight ‘electronic noise’ built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are. The device will very slowly make anyone go mad. You can hide this device under the persons chair, or under a desk and when they complain about hearing a beeping noise, everyone will doubt him. That way when he complains about you being a spy, you can easily use the “insane” excuse.
Getting Away with a Bang!
Your cover has been blown, people know that you are a spy, they are talking among themselves that their leader is coming to “take care” of you. You better be prepared. Assuming you have everything mentioned above your escape may not be that hard. Using your Secret Watch and Snake Cam adapter, you can see that the boss is coming down the hall. You instantly turn your computer off and take the Micro SD card and hide it inside of your coins. You set off your Annoyatron in your neighbors cubicle and turn off all the televisions with your super secret remote control. When the boss is about to walk down your cubicle hall, you quickly write a note with your secret pen that says that you are in the bathroom and will be back shortly. Then you dash towards the exit door.
Once you are on the exit door, you turn on your secret hearing device and you hear your boss asking your neighbor about where you are but the neighbor keep on complaining about a small annoying beeping sound. Then the boss looks at the note but the ink is no longer there! you hear him say that he wants you to be located immediately! It is then that you find the electricity supply room and you shut down the power to the facility! thanks to your night vision glasses you quickly find your way around the facility and locate an exit.
Light illuminates the exit but that’s okay since you are already almost out the door! As you are walking down the hall you see people are running close behind you thanks to your super secret rear view glasses. It is then that you deploy your last weapon! the Micro Sonic Grenade! This grenade sends out 115 decibels of sound effectively confusing the people chasing you. You see one of them running after you with a gun, as he pulls the trigger, you hold up your Clipboard shield and the bullets bounce off it like superman!
You finally reach the exit and a hard kick on the door has you walking to freedom. You get to your vehicle and make a swift escape. Thanks to your quick thinking skills and amazing gadgets, you were able to make it to your home. With enough time to spare to buy the wife some flowers and explain why you just got fired.