Oh the things we men will do for alcohol. Not long ago we had an article about the Wine Rack, a bra that allowed women to fill up their bras with wine or beer while at the same time giving them a boost in confidence by making their chest go from A’s to D’s in a matter of seconds. The wine rack was actually pretty cool, plus the small tube that allowed you to release the wine was hidden on the side of the shirt, meaning people didn’t suspect a thing when you were pouring your self another drink. The bladder design however, is taking things to an awkward extreme. You’re bound to get caught by someone who sees you pee into a cup, then sees you drink it again.
The Freedom Flask pretty much turns your crotch into an alcohol dispenser. Just fill the pouch with your favorite drink, strap the belt around your waist, tuck the Freedom Flask inside your pants, and you’re ready to go. The dispenser nozzle lines up with your zipper, so all you have to do is make like you’re using the bathroom straight into your cup. But I can guarantee you that from a distance, you’re not going to look like the sleek guy you think you are, instead you’re going to look like a freak.
But if you don’t mind getting some negative attention and paying $7 a beer at a concert is to much for you, then by all means check out this flask. According to Freedom Flask, you can “pour out half of that soft drink you purchased at the concession stand – just be sure to save that precious ice – then let Freedom Flask top you off with some of Tennessee or Kentucky’s finest. If you think it may be awkward pouring a drink from your fly – it’s not. What’s awkward is being the guy who gets his flask taken by security.” The flask is going to run you $24.95 from their Freedom Flask website. So after just 4 beers, the flask is going to pay for it’s self!
There are a couple of problems with the flask, if you keep a plastic bag in your pants full of alcohol, eventually the alcohol is going to warm up and it’s going to taste pretty sour. Same thing with beer, that’s probably the reason they say “save that precious ice” in their advertisement. You could also puncture the bag, and nothing is more awkward than having a flask full of beer run down your jeans. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do right?